We asked two licensed massage therapists what their top five tips are in giving your main squeeze a spa-caliber massage at home. Miriam Benatti, licensed massage therapist at Euphoria Spa , and Edan Harari of Kinetic Massage Therapy, both in New York City, share the key elements, many of which go hand in hand, in making your special gift of DIY couples massage a success on Valentine’s Day and beyond!
1. Clear Space, Clear Mind
“Create a peaceful and loving environment,” Benatti says. “Sometimes our homes (especially city apartments) are anything but peaceful. Make sure candles and scented oils accent a warm, tidy environment.”
Be mindful and present by taking five minutes or so to clear your mind chatter and to prepare to work on your partner, Harari advises. “Remember, the mind is very powerful, so focusing on providing your partner with relaxation is key to helping them relax, let go and feel good,” he explains.
2. Use Simple Essentials Found around the House
Be sure you have all the items you’ll need around you to give an uninterrupted massage.
- Oil (almond or grape seed, even that olive oil you have in the kitchen) is preferable to lotion, which tends to absorb too quickly.
- Have a towel handy to pick up any spills.
- Use a pillow under the ankles and one for neck and face when he/she is prone (face-down) and prop the pillow under the knees when he/she is supine (face-up).
- Make sure your fingernails are not too long. And if you just got a perfect manicure, use your knuckles, fists, and forearms. You can still apply the right strokes with most any part of your hand.
3. Intuitively Indulge the Senses
“Remember that the massage is all about your partner and what they want or need,” Harari says. “Just because you like an elbow in your back doesn’t mean they do. Practice using your intuition to figure out what they like and what their body/muscles needs. If you can’t figure it out while being mindful, then just ask!”
On the same note, create an environment to invigorate the senses, Benatti suggests.
“Pick out some music you both love,” she says. “Use essential oils; they stimulate the brain’s limbic system, our most animalistic sweet spot of emotional memory.”
Choose your scent:
- Sweet orange and neroli will brighten the mood
- Ylang ylang and rose will
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Do you find that you keep attracting the wrong sort of partner into your life?
Time is ticking and you still haven’t found that perfect someone that you wish to spend the rest of your life with. Instead, you find yourself dating horrible, aggressive, needy or lazy guys or girls who have no similar interests or longevity.
You are not alone, statistics show that the average woman will experience four disastrous dates and seven different relationships before finding her life long partner, whereas men will experience four disastrous dates and eight failed relationships before finding his life long partner.
Finding a match is not easy, there are billions of people in this world but really only a select few that can peak our interest. Where do you begin? How can you narrow down the search and attract the perfect partner?
#1: There is no such thing as a perfect person
Whether you want to admit it or not, we all have a few undesirable traits that make us unique and different, whether it’s flaws, skeletons or other bad habits.
Forget about perfect when it comes to relationships. Forget about trying to find someone that checks all your boxes because that person probably doesn’t exist. You want to find someone who is not the perfect person, but a perfect partner and a perfect partner is someone who is so good that their flaws don’t even compare to how good they are. You want to be able to accept their flaws and learn to love and appreciate them as part of their personality.
In return, you want to find someone that accepts your flaws and appreciates them as part of your personality, and the only way you can attract this type of lover into your life is by accepting and appreciating your own flaws first.
When you make peace with who you are and all your so-called undesirable traits, you open up room for someone else to come in and appreciate them with you. Without completing this step, you may constantly find yourself attracting partners who are unaccepting or non-committal.
#2: You attract what you put out there which is exactly what you need
Just ended a date with another jerk? Sorry to say, there is a part of you deep down (probably subconsciously) that is attracting that jerk into your life and for whatever reason, it is necessary for you to encounter this jerk in order to move forward.
While this may be a hard pill to swallow, we are always attracting whatever energy we are putting out there or vibrating. The trap here is that we often have no idea what energy we are vibrating until we start looking at our thoughts, and often our thoughts can be centered around what we don’t want, rather than what we want.
Having fear or lacking confidence and not loving or honoring yourself are all recipes to attract undesirable partners. These undesirable partners that we do attract however, are also there to shed light on how high we value ourselves.
To attract the right partner, focus instead on learning to love and appreciate yourself and monitor your thoughts to ensure that you are focussing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.
#3: We seek our parents in our relationships
Many psychologists have stated that romantic love occurs when our unconscious mind is exposed to the archetype of parental love that we received as a child. This means that we are always searching for
Lemongrass Is highly recommended for times when the emotions are embedded in misery and in need to overcome it. It’s strong anti-depressant properties can always be relied upon to improve your mood. This herb helps increase, clarify, and sweeten communication between people. It’s antiseptic freshness makes it ideal for helping you to overcome illness.
Lemongrass is ruled by Mercury and thus is helpful for developing magical skills. It is commonly used to increase the power of amulets, to purify divination tools and spiritual preparations like baths. It can be added to water to cleanse a sacred space. It is a good anointing oil for meditation as it clears the mind, opens psychic channels and aids concentration. Sprinkle Lemongrass Essential oil throughout the home, or use in aroma lamps scattered throughout the home, to repel any negativity from entering the home.
Lemongrass is a cheerful, light hearted oil that serves as a reminder to keep things in perspective and not take them too seriously. It can be used to get in touch with the inner child. As a stimulating aphrodisiac it can be included in love potions and philtres. It is said to have powers to encourage lust, protect one from infidelity and bring about honesty in a relationship. Flavoring your food with it enhances romance and sexual pleasure.
Burn or carry a sachet of lemongrass when you are looking to remove or get through obstacles in your life. Lemongrass is said to bring luck and ward off evil for those who are around it. With high spiritual vibrations and it’s cleansing properties, lemongrass has become an important
Are you interested in learning about crystals which can help you with your love life? These crystals are not only pretty to look at, they are known to help in all matters of emotion!
The Ruby’s connection with love goes back to ancient history. Egyptians believed it was the stone of love. This beautiful gem’s use in crowns and regalia show its association with royalty; “love rules”. Fidelity has been a part of the Ruby’s influence, and the 40th wedding anniversary is the “Ruby Anniversary.” Love’s appreciation as a higher emotion aligns with the Ruby. It is said that a ruby will darken if an unfaithful lover comes near. The stone of the Root Chakra, the Ruby is also associated with sensual pleasures and physical passion. Wearing a ruby can increase sexual attraction.
Rose quartz beads have been dated back to the Mesopotamian culture, over 7,000 years ago. Considered by many to be the ultimate stone of love, the soft pink color and delicate beauty of rose quartz mirrors the delicate strength of love itself. Sometimes called the “love stone”, the color matches the aura given off by the heart Chakra. Wearing Rose Quartz jewelry can help bring healing and appropriate self-love. Meditating with Rose Quartz helps to instill calm and peacefulness. Carry a piece with you to help mend a broken heart and encourage gentle emotional healing.
This brilliant green gem has a long history with mankind. The emerald held an honored place in Egypt, aligned with both Horus and Isis. The ancient Greeks believed it was emblematic of the Goddess Artemis and was believed to help ease pain during childbirth. This stone, the color of the Heart Chakra, was once thought to lose its color or turn a mottled brown if a partner was cheating or unfaithful. Giving an emerald to the one you love is believed to ward away lustful thoughts. Emeralds symbolize psychic powers and the connection between those who share true love.
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Hey lovely peeps! I hope you are having a wonderful weekend!
The temperatures here in Germany are crazy hot!!! It’s 33°c / 91,4°f and that’s just waaaay too hot for Germany.
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Because of medical problems with my spine, PTSD, anxiety and depression, my YouTube channel and selling the things that I make are the only ways I can earn a living right now. My German husband of 20 years is now with a younger woman and the money that I’m supposed to be receiving is nowhere in sight.
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Bright Blessings to you and yours!
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Kissin’ ain’t easy. Well, actually, the act of kissing may be easy. But that doesn’t mean we are all good at it. You have to learn how to be a good kisser. And it takes practice to become a great kisser. Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but it makes for a much better kisser, that’s for sure. It’s not easy to admit that maybe you need a little help. Heck, some of us don’t even know we’re lacking in the kissing department. I mean, everyone has had a horrible kiss in their lives. And if they haven’t, they truly haven’t lived (or kissed that many people). The sad part is, that horrible kisser probably has zero clue that he or she isn’t great. You don’t want to go throughout your whole life being that guy or girl. You don’t want to live a full life and kiss like a kid in middle-school. So, if you’re kisses resemble that Spiderman kiss, then I’d say you’re a-okay! But, if you feel as if you could learn a few new tricks, read ahead.
Here are some ways to improve upon your kissing game, because everyone deserves to love getting kissed as much as they love kissing someone — plus, it never hurts to have a couple extra tricks up your sleeve to surprise your partner.
1. Remember to change it up
Change is good, especially when it comes to kissing. You don’t want to engage in the same old boring kiss, over and over. Spice up your kiss. Start off slow with a little bit of tongue and then work your way into a more aggressive kiss. Give little kisses here and there and then sometimes surprise your partner by using a different kissing style. Change up the speed and the motion, and you’ll have one happy kissing customer.
2. Your breath should be on point
There’s nothing more unsexy than bad breath. Your kiss could be amazing, but if all your kissing partner smells is pure garlic, it won’t be pretty. You don’t want your kiss to be overshadowed by bad breath. Make sure you pop those mints beforehand. Or carry a travel size toothbrush with you as a just in case.
3. Make sure you lips are kissable
Think of your lips as the foundation to a good kiss. You need to build a good and steady foundation. That means cracked lips are a no-no. Having cracked or chapped lips is like having a hole in your foundation. Your lips should look appealing — not like a piece of sandpaper. Furthermore, be aware of how much lipstick/lipgloss you’ve got on. Listen, I love wearing lipstick, but I also know it’s not the best in terms of kissing. It doesn’t taste all that great and it also leaves kisses a little messy. But, to each his own!
4. Be in tune with your kissing partner
To be a fantastic kisser, you’ve got to be in tune with the person you are kissing. Kissing isn’t a one-way street. You’ve got two people involved. If you are going to be kissing someone for the first time,
READ MORE By: Sara Altschule https://www.bustle.com/articles/93122-7-ways-to-improve-your-kissing-game-because-there-are-probably-some-tips-you-havent-heard Continue reading “7 Ways To Improve Your Kissing Game, Because There Are Probably Some Tips You Haven’t Heard Of yet”
Being an empath or a highly sensitive person (HSP) in the modern world ain’t easy. Everyone is stressed—and empaths and HSPs are the emotional sponges, soaking it all up.
WHAT IS AN EMPATH?
To clarify, being a empath doesn’t just mean you care and feel for other people. It means you actually feel their emotions in your body. It can be sometimes difficult for true empaths to discern whether an emotion they’re experiencing is their own or someone else’s—which can be incredibly overwhelming and depleting.
(Note: while I use the terms “empath’”and “HSP” interchangeably, they are subtly different, as explained here.)
While being highly sensitive to the needs of others can be a truly wonderful quality, it takes some dedicated effort to manage. It’s ironic that empaths are so good at being there for other people and making others feel better—but it’s often to their own emotional and energetic detriment.
Empaths can easily become oversaturated with emotions, leading them to believe they are depressed, ill or flawed in some way. But that’s not usually the case. A sensitive person just needs time to recenter.
SURVIVING AS A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON OR EMPATH
If you’re an empath, you really need to prioritize your self care. Here are a few basics that every highly sensitive person should have in their toolkits.
You know that dramatic friend you have who is always in a crisis? As an empath, it’s important to realize that they can be an energy suck—no matter how much you love them. If, while spending time with them, you can feel your energy being drained, focus on your breathing.
Holding your breath only allows negativity to fester and grow, so breathe deeply to ground yourself. Maybe also treat yourself to a little time out. Take a stroll around the block, a reprieve in the quiet bathroom or a relaxing drive to get away from the contagious drama.
Create physical space between yourself and perceived negativity.
Social situations can be really challenging for HSPs and empaths. Highly empathetic people deeply experience others’ negative energies. In fact, they tend to absorb them.
If you find yourself at a party in a conversation with energy-sucker, make an excuse to take a walk outside to balance and reground yourself. Then, keep your distance as much as you can for the rest of the event.
Social situations are already challenging enough. Create a bubble of safe, positive space around yourself to hold onto your own energy.
Know your boundaries.
As an HSP or empathic person, you probably tend to try to help people in need, no matter what. But when it comes to being there for people and sharing your positive energy, don’t be an overgiver—it’ll only deplete you.
Be polite, but let people know when you’ve reached your limits. Yes, you want to be there for the other person, but you need to honor yourneeds.
Try to become aware of when your emotional energy is reaching critical levels, and prioritize yourself. Place your oxygen mask on before assisting the person next to you.
Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’.
You simply can’t always be there for everybody. You need to prioritize your own needs, too. So practice saying no.
For instance, one day you’re wiped, but a friend wants to grab a drink and talk about their absolutely horrible day at work. Be polite and honest. Say, “Sorry your day was so rough, but I can’t tonight. I can grab coffee tomorrow and talk all about it, though.” You could even suggest that maybe it’s best for your friend to stay in, take a hot bath, and treat themselves, too!
Saying no isn’t mean. It’s being open and honest. You need to make time for your own needs, too.
Being a highly sensitive person means you need to guard yourself a little more than others. Your powers of sensitivity are a wonderful gift that can really benefit those around you, but you want to make sure that you are not suffering as a result. It may be tough for you, but start putting yourself first.